Category: hypnosis

Improving Communication

Valentine

So, today I thought I would write about love and relationships and how we can better understand the people we share our lives with. This can mean romantic relationships, but can really be applied to anyone.

We know that we have five senses. In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) language these are known as “representational systems” and are called:

  • Visual – what we see
  • Auditory – what we hear
  • Kinaesthetic – what we feel
  • Olfactory – what we smell
  • Gustatory – what we taste

The main three systems that I will concentrate on today are visual, auditory and kinaesthetic. We can come back to the other two another time. We use all of our five senses to navigate the world around us but we all tend to have one preferred representational system. I wonder what yours is? If you aren’t sure, maybe this will help.

If yours is visual…

You might use visual language when you are speaking. You may be artistic and enjoy painting or drawing. You probably learn better by reading or watching something being demonstrated.

If yours is auditory…

You may be very musical and use words that relate to sound. You might notice that you learn better by listening to someone explain something.

If yours is kinaesthetic…

You might use words that describe feelings. You probably learn best by doing something and acting it out. Only then will you feel you really understand it.

This is a very generalised overview of representational systems and you may find that you have two equally preferred systems or that you tend to favour different systems in different situations. We use a combination of each of these systems and, of course, being good at painting doesn’t mean that you aren’t musical. However, it is a good way to start thinking about how we all see the world and it makes us stop for a moment and realise that we all interpret things differently.

As it is Valentine’s Day, we are focusing on love and how understanding our representational systems can help us communicate with those we are closest to.

Try out this little exercise:

  • Close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax your body.
  • Now, think of a time you felt truly loved. Really take yourself back to that time. See what you saw, hear what you heard and really feel what you felt.
  • Who was there with you?
  • What is it about that person that made you feel so loved and special? Notice what they did or said that really meant something to you.

What did you find out about your own representational system? Do you feel more loved when someone tells you they love you or says nice things to you? Perhaps it is the way they look at you that makes you feel loved? Is it a particular touch or a hug? Maybe they just did something really special or bought you a thoughtful gift?

The point is that each of us responds to these in a different way. When we first start a romantic relationship we tend to cover all bases. We will use all three of these representational systems to show someone how we feel. However, over time, we tend to fall back on our own system and think that everyone will respond in the same way. An auditory person may feel most loved when they hear the words, “I love you”, so they use this to communicate to the person they love and wonder why it doesn’t work. The person they are speaking to may be a kinaesthetic person and will only truly feel loved if they are hugged or touched in some way. In their world, this lack of physical affection means that their partner has stopped loving them and no matter what that person says, it will never mean as much to them.

So, you can see how this lack of communication can begin to cause problems within the relationship. The two people concerned may actually love each other very much, but the way they are showing it does not really register with their partner.

Sometimes we don’t consciously know what the problem is, we know that something just doesn’t feel right. By doing the exercise above we can identify our own primary representational system when it comes to love and that way we can begin to talk to others about what we need. Ask your loved one to do it, too, and find out the best way to communicate with them. You may be surprised at what you learn about yourself and others.

Notice the language people use when they speak. Do they tend to use words that relate to sight or sound or feelings? If you want to improve your communication skills, use similar words. This works with those we live with and see on a daily basis and those we have just met. It is often why we just “click” with someone or feel that we have known them all our lives. Next time you feel this way, notice the language and metaphors being used.

I would love to know how you got on with the exercise above and what you learned about yourself and other people around you, so please get in touch and let me know. Also, remember that if you have any questions about hypnotherapy or NLP, or would like more information on how it could help you overcome a particular difficulty you are experiencing, just send me a message or call me for a chat.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements
Spring Clean Your Mind

Spring Clean Your Mind

Spring is definitely here. I have even packed away my winter woollies and snow boots and dug out all my t-shirts! It is at this time of the year that we often spring clean our houses and clear the clutter. However, what about our minds and emotions? Aren’t they also due for a good clear out? April is Stress Awareness Month, here are a just few ways you can clear the clutter from your mind and reduce your stress levels at the same time.

Forgive and Forget

Are you holding onto anger or upset from a past relationship? Maybe you just cannot forgive someone for something they said or did. Have you ever thought about who you are hurting most, though? Holding onto resentment can leave us feeling stressed. Anger is a very negative emotion and effects our bodies in all sorts of ways, leading to headaches, digestion problems, insomnia, anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, skin problems, even heart attacks and strokes. So, maybe it is time you let it go for your own sake.

Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that you are condoning the other person’s behaviour, you are just looking after yourself by not carrying that pain around any longer. So, make a list of those that have hurt you and be the better person. Decide today on ways you can show forgiveness and start clearing out that negativity.

Buddha, hypnotherapy, relaxation, anger, forgiveness

 “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Buddha

Let Go of Stress

Make a list of all that negative clutter. What is worrying you? What is making you anxious? Split that list into two; those that you can change and those that you can’t. If you have no control over it, there is no point in worrying. Have faith that things will turn out for the best, whatever that might be. Be comfortable with the unknown and let life take its course. Burn or shred that list of worries that cannot be controlled and LET IT GO!

Now look at the list of things that you could do something about. Prioritise it and start working your way through it, crossing them off one by one. Even if you just tackle one a day, you will feel as though you are taking control and getting those anxieties out of your mind. Now that it is on paper, put it to one side as you don’t need to carry it around with you day after day.

It is also worth spending some time each day on relaxing both physically and mentally. Listen to the free mp3 on my website (sign up here) to give both your mind and body that time it needs each day to wind down.

yoga, meditation, hypnotherapy, mindfulness, visualisation, relaxation, stress relief

Focus on Future Goals

What were your resolutions in January? Have you managed to stick to them? If not, don’t worry. Spring is a time of regrowth and renewal and a great time to start again. Tomorrow is a new day; a new start.

Spend some time relaxing and visualising yourself achieving all those things that you planned for the future, whatever that might be. It could be health related, such as giving up smoking. If so, see yourself as the non-smoker you want to become and set that goal firmly in your mind. Maybe you want to lose weight? If so, visualise yourself as the slimmer version of you, wearing the clothes that you dream of wearing. How will you move? How will you feel?

Perhaps your goal is work-related? Are you starting your own business or hoping for that great promotion? See it in your mind and act as though it will happen. Maybe write a page on the person you will be by the end of this year. Write it as though you are in December, looking back on 2017. Where are you? How did you get here? What steps did you take to achieve your dream?

writing, write a list, planning, ambition, goals

Whatever your goal, see yourself achieving it and do this daily as a great meditation exercise.

Mind Massage

If you would like any extra help with relaxation, please think about coming to one of my mind massage sessions. It is a great way to experience hypnotherapy for the first time and give your mind a little mini-holiday while de-cluttering and putting everything back into perspective.

calm, hypnotherapy, mind massage, Laura Culley Hypnotherapy, directions, sign post

PTSD

PTSD

What is PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)?

PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a condition that can occur following the experience or witnessing of  life-threatening events such as military combat, natural disasters, terrorist incidents, serious accidents, or physical or sexual assault in adult or childhood. Most survivors of trauma return to normal given a little time. However, around 30% of people will have stress reactions that do not go away on their own, or may even get worse over time. These individuals may develop PTSD. People who suffer from PTSD often relive the experience through nightmares and flashbacks, have difficulty sleeping, feel detached from real life and unable to communicate with friends and family.  These symptoms can be severe enough to significantly impair the sufferer’s daily life.

Who suffers from PTSD?

Anyone who has witnessed a severe trauma could be susceptible to PTSD and it is estimated that up to one in 10 individuals may be affected by the condition at some stage during their lives.

However, some individuals who work within certain professions, and some individuals who exhibit certain risk factors may be more prone to develop the condition than others.

According to some studies the condition is present in approximately one in two female rape victims, one in three teenagers who have survived a car accident, two in three prisoners of war and one in five fire-fighters.

Those who have previously suffered from a mental health condition or who have a family history of mental health concerns are also considered to be at a ‘high risk’ of developing PTSD after being exposed to a harrowing event. It is estimated that up to four in five PTSD sufferers are affected by other mental health problems

What are the Symptoms of PTSD?

In some individuals the symptoms will develop very shortly after the event, but for others the onset may be delayed by a number of months, or even years after the trauma first occurred. People with PTSD usually experience three main kinds of symptoms:

1. Reliving the Trauma

The sufferer may feel as though they are reliving the trauma in some way. There are a number of ways in which people may relive a trauma. They may have upsetting memories of the traumatic event which can come back at any time, day or night, completely out of the blue. At other times the memories may be triggered by a traumatic reminder. Examples of this may be when a soldier who has returned from combat hears a car backfire, a motor vehicle accident victim drives by a car accident or a rape victim sees a news report of a recent sexual assault. These memories can cause both emotional and physical reactions. Sometimes these memories can feel so real it is as if the event is actually happening again. This is called a “flashback.” Reliving the event may cause intense feelings of fear, helplessness, and horror similar to the feelings they had when the event took place. Many sufferers of PTSD suffer extreme nightmares or night-terrors.

2. Avoidance and Numbing Symptoms

Individuals with PTSD may try to avoid situations that trigger memories of the traumatic event. They may avoid going near places where the trauma occurred or seeing TV programmes or news reports about similar events. They may avoid other sights, sounds, smells, or people that are reminders of the traumatic event. Some people find that they try to distract themselves as a way to avoid thinking about the trauma.

Numbing symptoms are another way to avoid the traumatic event. People with PTSD may find it difficult to be in touch with their feelings or express emotions towards other people. For example, they may feel emotionally “numb” and may isolate from others. They may be less interested in activities they once enjoyed. Some people forget, or are unable to talk about, important parts of the event.

3. Arousal Symptoms

People with PTSD may feel constantly alert and anxious after the traumatic event. This is known as increased emotional arousal, and it can cause difficulty sleeping, outbursts of anger or irritability, and difficulty concentrating. They may find that they are constantly ‘on guard’ and on the lookout for signs of danger. They may also find that they get startled very easily. Often, close friends or family members may notice a change in the individual’s personality.

PTSD is complicated by the fact that you may develop additional disorders such as depression, substance abuse, problems of memory and cognition, and other problems of physical and mental health. The disorder is also associated with impairment of the person’s ability to function in social or family life, including occupational instability, marital problems and divorces, family discord, and difficulties in parenting.

Complex PTSD

Complex PTSD occurs after a person has suffered years of trauma, rather than a one-off event. For example, a child who has spent years being abused by a parent or carer may end up suffering with complex PTSD.

How Does Hypnotherapy Help?

Hypnotherapy is an extremely kind, gentle and respectful method of treating PTSD as the client is relaxed and can observe themselves from a distant or dissociated perspective via a TV screen in their mind. There is absolutely no need for them to give details of the trauma or abuse if they don’t want to and they will NOT be asked to relive the traumatic event.

I use ‘The Rewind Technique’ to help PTSD sufferers as I believe it is the kindest, quickest  and most effective treatment. You can read more about The Rewind Technique HERE.

How Many Sessions will I Need?

This depends on the complexity and severity of your case as everyone is different. Some people can be treated in just one session, for others, it may take four to five, spread over weekly or fortnightly visits. We will work together to decide how many sessions you need and take things at a pace that suits you. However, you should start feeling better after just one visit.

If you think I may be able to help you with your PTSD symptoms, please contact me today and arrange an appointment.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Hypnotherapy for Pain Relief

Hypnotherapy for Pain Relief

Hypnotherapy has been shown to be very effective in reducing many types of pain and it has helped me take control of my own Fibromyalgia symptoms.Of course, before you see a hypnotherapist, you must have consulted a doctor to find out the cause of your pain. It is also worth remembering that hypnotherapy is a complementary therapy designed to work alongside traditional treatments, not replace them.

There are two types of pain, acute and chronic. Acute pain is a short-term pain, often caused by an injury or short-term illness which gets better quite quickly. Chronic pain lasts for much longer and is usually caused by conditions such as fibromyalgia, arthritis, cancer or an injury that has caused permanent damage to some part of the body. Most people seeking help from a hypnotherapist are suffering from some kind of chronic pain condition.

As a hypnotherapist, I would never want to shut off those pain signals completely, as this can lead to overdoing things and create more pain later on. Also, pain is usually there for a reason and is a useful warning that something is going on within the body that needs some attention. However, learning to control pain signals, especially in long-term health conditions, can make life much easier for sufferers.

As a relaxation method, or “induction” into hypnosis, I often use a progressive relaxation method, starting at one end of the body and gradually focusing on all the muscles and relaxing and letting go of any tension. When working with clients who are in pain, I often find that they are very tense and this can actually add to the pain they are experiencing. A useful exercise is to tense each muscle first and then relax it, so that the client learns to feel the difference between that tension and relaxation.

When the client is relaxed and focused and in what some people would consider a “hypnotic state”, I will then encourage them to visit a control room in their mind where they will learn to turn down the pain dials to the particular part of their body that is bothering them. This is something that they can learn to do themselves over time, so that they can turn their pain dials down anytime that the pain is getting too much.

If you or someone you know is suffering with a long term pain condition and would like to speak to me about how I could help, please contact me for a free half-hour consultation. I am based in Honiton, but I am a  mobile therapist in the East Devon area, so I can come and visit you at home. If you live outside of the area it is still worth getting in touch as I could make you a CD or mp3 recording that you can listen to which will help you with pain control.

Best wishes and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

What is Hypnotherapy?

What is Hypnotherapy?

There is a lot of mystery and confusion surrounding hypnosis which puts a lot of people off. This is a shame as hypnotherapy is such an effective tool for dealing with so many issues. What do you think of when you hear the word “hypnosis”? Do you see a mysterious man waving a pocket watch in front of your face, repeating the phrase, “You are feeling very sleepy!” Maybe your mind turns straight to the stage hypnotists who appear to control the minds of their subjects and get them clucking like chickens every time they hear a bell ring?

So, What is Hypnosis?

There is no question as to whether or not hypnosis works, the problem is that science still can’t decide how it actually works, which makes it very difficult to explain!

The British Society of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis states:

“In therapy, hypnosis usually involves the person experiencing a sense of deep relaxation with their attention narrowed down, and focused on appropriate suggestions made by the therapist.”

These suggestions are often enough for a person to begin making amazing changes deep within themselves.

The following four extracts are taken from a book by  Dr Hilary Jones’, called “Doctor, What’s the Alternative? He explains hypnotherapy really well, in simple terms that are easy to understand.

Definition of hypnotherapy

“Contrary to popular belief, hypnosis is not a state of deep sleep.  It does involve the induction of a trance-like condition, but when in it, the patient is actually in an enhanced state of awareness, concentrating entirely on the hypnotist’s voice.  In this state, the conscious mind is suppressed and the subconscious mind is revealed.

The therapist is able to suggest ideas, concepts and lifestyle adaptations to the patient, the seeds of which become firmly planted.

The practice of promoting healing or positive development in any way is known as hypnotherapy.  As such, hypnotherapy is a kind of psychotherapy.  Hypnotherapy aims to re-programme patterns of behaviour within the mind, enabling irrational fears, phobias, negative thoughts and suppressed emotions to be overcome. As the body is released from conscious control during the relaxed trance-like state of hypnosis, breathing becomes slower and deeper, the pulse rate drops and the metabolic rate falls. Similar changes along nervous pathways and hormonal channels enable the sensation of pain to become less acute, and the awareness of unpleasant symptoms, such as nausea or indigestion, to be alleviated.”

How does it work?

“Hypnosis is thought to work by altering our state of consciousness in such a way that the analytical left-hand side of the brain is turned off, while the non-analytical right-hand side is made more alert.  The conscious control of the mind is inhibited, and the subconscious mind awoken.  Since the subconscious mind is a deeper-seated, more instinctive force than the conscious mind, this is the part which has to change for the patient’s behaviour and physical state to alter.

For example, a patient who consciously wants to overcome their fear of spiders may try everything they consciously can to do it, but will still fail as long as their subconscious mind retains this terror and prevents the patient from succeeding.  Progress can only be made by reprogramming the subconscious so that deep-seated instincts and beliefs are abolished or altered.”

What form might the treatment take?

“Firstly, any misconceptions a potential patient may have about hypnosis should be dispelled.  The technique does not involve the patient being put into a deep sleep, and the patient cannot be made to do anything they would not ordinarily do. They remain fully aware of their surroundings and situation, and are not vulnerable to every given command of the therapist.  The important thing is that the patient wants to change some behavioural habit or addiction and is highly motivated to do so.  They have to want the treatment to work and must establish a good clinical rapport with the therapist in order for it to do so.

The readiness and ability of patients to be hypnotised varies considerably and hypnotherapy generally requires several sessions in order to achieve meaningful results.  However the patient can learn the technique of self-hypnosis which can be practiced at home, to reinforce the usefulness of formal sessions with the therapist.  This can help counter distress and anxiety-related conditions.”

What problems can be treated by hypnotherapy?

“Hypnotherapy can be applied to many psychological, emotional and physical disorders.  It is used to relieve pain in surgery and dentistry and has proved to be of benefit in obstetrics.  It can shorten the delivery stage of labour and reduce the need for painkillers.  It can ease the suffering of the disabled and those facing terminal illness, and it has been shown to help people to overcome addictions such as smoking and alcoholism, and to help with bulimia.  Children are generally easy to hypnotise and can be helped with nocturnal enuresis (bedwetting) and chronic asthma, whilst teenagers can conquer stammering or blushing problems which can otherwise make their lives miserable.

Phobias of all kinds lend themselves well to hypnotherapy, and anyone suffering from panic attacks or obsessional compulsive behaviour, and stress-related problems like insomnia, may benefit.  Conditions exacerbated by tension, such as irritable bowel syndrome, psoriasis and eczema, and excessive sweating, respond well, and even tinnitus and clicky jaws (tempero-mandibular joint dysfunction) can be treated by these techniques.”

If you would like to know more about hypnotherapy, please contact me for your free half-hour consultation.